This stunning resort is surrounded by majestic red mountains, vivid blue skies and the peaceful setting of the Utah desert. Only 90 minutes from Las Vegas, the possibility of self-discovery awaits anyone seeking a quest for adventure and new experiences as activities include hiking, kayaking, and biking as well as healthy-living classes, fitness, nutritious and delicious dining, and pampering spa services to soothe your body, mind and soul after a fulfilling day.

Red Mountain Resort & Spa offers deluxe accommodations in a natural setting and since this is a destination spa, there are ample opportunities to engage in classes and programs to enhance all areas of your life. The best value is the Signature Package, which also includes three healthy meals daily, guided morning hikes, unlimited fitness classes, healthy living classes and events and more. The resort has an indoor and outdoor pool as well as a fitness center, yoga and Pilates, and their newly-redesigned Sagestone Spa offers services to soothe your soul and calm your mind.

SELF-DISCOVERY

Perhaps seeking the assistance of their Life Coach, Cindy Clemmons, and engaging in one of the workshops may help you make the changes for a more fulfilling life. A new 3-night/4-day workshop titled Passages – What’s next! is being presented by both Life Coach Cindy Clemmons and CEO Steve Wilson and will be held October 9 – 12.

If you are either finished with or nearing the end of the career phase of your life, and you want to celebrate your career successes and use them to guide your post-career activities and choices, you may very well be a candidate for this program. Likewise, if you are still in the career phase of life and want to make shifts and adjustments to better utilize your gifts and talents and connect with your passions, so you will be well positioned for the post-career phase of life, this workshop may be for you. And, most certainly, if you feel trapped in your career and leave the office at night thinking,

“I am done and don’t want to or can’t keep doing this. How do I get off this treadmill and what is next for me?” this is the time to seek out this program. It’s all about being willing to actively engage in the self-discovery process by dedicating energy and focus to uncovering your core priorities and authentic self. ADVENTURE Perhaps you’re ready to discover a more adventurous side to change up your activity and become more fit and balanced in your physical and mental state of being. Guided morning hikes are available on-site as Red Mountain backs up to Snow Canyon State Park, as well as biking and optional excursions to nearby National Parks such as Zion National Park, Bryce Canyon National Park and Cedar Breaks National Monument.

As a photographer, I like to seek out locations that offer stunning scenery and the “Wave” is a secret canyon of sweeping multi-colored sandstone and breathtaking views. This excursion is a 6-mile roundtrip challenging hike that will not only give you a sense of accomplishment, but will also give you an opportunity to be part of such an amazing scenic wonder. There are hikes that can suit any level and it’s best to discuss your goals and hiking experience prior to engaging in any activity. Kayaking is also available on one of many local lakes.

SAGESTONE SPA

Ah, spa services after an active day! Sagestone Spa offers many traditional spa services, such as Swedish Massage, however a unique experience lies within their Aromasoul Collection encompassing rare herbal blends and healing modalities. A favorite of mine is the Aromasoul

-Mediterranean Ritual. An hour and 15 minutes of bliss, this service reflects Mediterranean cultures. A relaxing experience to help one “let go” as it combines extracts of basil, bergamot, mandarin, orange and lemon to help revitalize and stimulate the spirit. I like that it is recommended for stress and fatigue and releasing physical and emotional energy.

CUISINE & COOKING

Meals at Red Mountain Spa are as delicious as they are nutritious and there are also opportunities to learn more healthful ways of cooking in order to continue the path to wellness as a lifestyle. The Resort offers weekly Cooking Demonstrations in the Demo Kitchen so guests can discover  how to simply re-create these healthful dishes.

Some of the subjects include: Healthy Grains, Soups, Salads and Appetizers and Simple Bread Making. In addition, one of the services offered is the Nutrition Assessment, which could be a valuable tool for anyone seeking information in designing a plan that best suits their needs. This also includes a bio-impedance analysis, which assesses various health factors from cell health and function, water content of cells, toxicity, and body composition.

And, if you’re seeking a cooking-school experience, consider the Eat Well, Feel Well Culinary School. This is a 5-night program, meals included, that offers lessons on eating well and wellness, as well as eight hours of private cooking school instruction. Engage in new activities, wherever that may be, and may your journey bring you an abundance of joy, good health and happiness!

DONNA MANTONE ADINOLFI–TRAVEL EDITOR CAN BE REACHED AT WWW.MINDFULADVENTURES.COM

THREE STRATEGIES FOR COPING WITH CRISIS
By Randy Siegel

Looking into her face as she shared her story, I faced my greatest fear. My friend had lost everything: her marriage, home, and almost all her savings. “I’m starting over,” she said matter-of-factly, “and that’s not so bad.” Not so bad! I thought. It’s the worst thing that could happen.

The supports holding up her life were being cut out from underneath her, yet she was still standing. She was standing even taller than before.

Less than one month ago, another friend was sharing a similar story. He was on the verge of bankruptcy. His income source had dried up, and his life savings were quickly dwindling. His beautiful house was on the market, and he was desperately trying to sell his beloved grand piano.

While my two friends’ situations are similar, the way each is dealing with them is not. One is racked with anxiety; the other is calm, almost serene. What appears to be a closed door to one is a swinging door to the other. Walking through it, she is entering a new life and a new way of being. Originally, she came to me for advice, but I became the student. In sharing her life, my friend was teaching me how to face turmoil with grace. As she talked, three strategies for coping with crisis emerged.

PRACTICE GRATITUDE

“How do you stay so positive?” I asked.

“I’m no saint. I have my moments,” she admitted. “There are days when all I can do is cry. But most days, I focus on all I have to be grateful for, and that list is a lot larger than you may think. I’m grateful for my friends, family, and for my health. I’m also thankful for my car, my clothes, my work, and this beautiful day.

“I’m also thankful for this difficult time, even though that may sound crazy,” she continued. “In it is a life lesson if I’m open to learning.”

“A life lesson?” I asked.

“Sure, think about it. Don’t you grow more in times of crisis than when everything’s going your way?” She was right. I grew more during my divorce than at any other time in my life. My divorce was one of those defining moments. My friend was helping me to see that dark time in a whole new light Not long ago, I saw a television show on spirituality. A woman who was going through a bankruptcy asked a panel of spiritual counselors for advice. “Focus on what you have to be grateful for,” one counselor concluded. “Start out small if you must, but start somewhere. For example, be thankful that you are breathing, and if you are on a breathing machine, be thankful for the machine.” It’s been said in many ways, by many different people that in order to change your life, you must change your thoughts. Practice gratitude always, but practice it especially during times of crisis.

ALIGN YOUR LIFE WITH YOUR VALUES

Crisis brings clarity because it beckons us to reexamine our values. Crises are wake-up calls, and wake-up calls come in different forms. My father’s came after his first heart attack. Health, one of his values, had been neglected. In realigning his life with his values, he changed his diet, lost weight, and began to exercise daily. These activities added years to his life as well as life to his years.

Our current economic crisis is causing many Americans to reexamine their values. The Cadillac Escalade in the carport doesn’t seem as important as it once was. We are being invited as a society to be less materialistic and more spiritual, and many are heeding the call. Have you identified your core values or guideposts for living? If I were to ask you for your top seven, could you rattle them off within a few minutes? Most of us would need some time to think. Take time for introspection and catalog your top seven values. Then look at your life to see if you are living them. Set a goal to review your core values—along with your purpose statement—before making every major decision, instead of unconsciously selecting which path to take.

FLOW, DON’T FIGHT

Midwives say that if a mother fights the pain of childbirth, she delays the birth. It’s when she surrenders that the baby comes. Crisis is a lot like childbirth; we have to surrender to the pain of letting go. The Buddhists teach nonattachment, and for some, it’s a tough lesson.

You want to hold on to the known even when the known is not that great. I cling and clinch until a big wave hits and pries me off the rocks and into the river. It’s then that I remember the advice of the river guides.

When you go white-water rafting, the guides tell you that if you are thrown from the raft, put your feet up, and flow with the river. In crisis, we’d be smart to follow the same advice.

Flowing with the river doesn’t excuse us from action. Action is imperative in order to move ahead with our lives. But a different type of action is called for; it’s inspired action. Inspired action requires us to set intention and act upon inspiration. Follow the energy; act on those intentions that carry a lot of “juice.” I hope to never face what my two friends are facing. Losing financial security is one of my greatest fears. Still, like an unwanted houseguest, crisis surely will come to visit from time to time. Rarely does one go through life unscathed.

When crisis comes, find strength in remembering these three strategies: practice gratitude; align your life with your values; and flow, don’t fight. By practicing them, you will stand tall through any storm.

RANDY SIEGEL IS A LEADERSHIP AND COMMUNICATIONS SPECIALIST. HE CAN BE REACHED AT WWW.BUILDYOURINFLUENCE.COM

MID-LIFE CRISIS MANAGEMENT
By Anne Leedom

One of my favorite shows growing up was Little House on the Prairie. One of the biggest differences in reflecting on this time in history is that the concept of “Mid-Life Crisis” was not prevalent. Why didn’t the average 50-year-old suddenly want a bigger and better horse or more time for themselves?

It might be because they didn’t LIVE long enough…or because there was nowhere to really go to get time for oneself. Having bigger and better things was not really an option when most people had very little.

IT’S ALL ABOUT ME

So there is an obvious reason why people now often fall into this emotional trap. However, a more interesting and perhaps not so obvious reason some people fall into this struggle has to do with a little phrase that rarely was ever spoken or even thought a hundred years ago: “What do I want?” There is certainly nothing wrong with wanting things. There is something very healthy about setting goals, having dreams and looking for the next mountain peak to scale. However, there is a general emotional shift that occurs as we age. We see so much information on the physical aspects of aging and how to slow the process or make it less painful and visible. There is also an emotional component to aging that is crucial in the overall “success” of growing older.

GOING OUT INTO THE WORLD

Let’s take a moment to consider the way most people think in their late teens and twenties. We raise our kids to set goals for their lives. We want them to do well in school, to create financial wealth and to succeed in life. The definition of success is almost always related to materialistic and  relationship issues. So naturally, in our twenties we spend most of our time thinking about what we want. We teach our kids to judge their lives and their circumstances by the outside clues that they have in their lives. “What Do I Want?” is the question we send our kids out into the world with in order to grow up and become an adult.

As we move through our thirties and forties, life plays a little trick on us. It goes out of its way to throw us a curve ball. Our careers don’t provide the long-term security that we were so certain it would. Our relationships become lessons in betrayal and despair and in some case our bodies succumb to disease or accidents that change our physical state for the rest of our lives. The plan we had starts to fill with holes and panic sets in.

Suddenly we find we are in our late forties and fifties and we realize that this part of our life is over. We can’t look ahead at an empty slate and plan how our lives will turn out. We begin to feel real sadness and even terror, knowing that things are different than what we hoped and worked for and that realization can send some into a tailspin from which they will never recover.

AGING JOYFULLY

When we change from “what do I want” and instead ask “what do I NOT want,” we find aging an easier and even joyful process, despite our circumstances.

We learn that we can’t control the external reality we live in. We can only control how we navigate that reality. I am convinced that those who truly know this and embrace this concept find mid-life and beyond to be a wonderful and exciting adventure. We embrace the mystery of life with open arms and find a new kind of excitement in knowing that we can control much in our lives, simply by choosing what to avoid…not what to move toward.

LIFE-LONG HAPPINESS

We no longer define ourselves by what we accumulate or our relationship or financial status. For the select few who understand that while it is still healthy and important to set goals, it is even more important to surrender to the inescapable realities of our lives. Cultivating this ability may indeed be the most important skill we can learn to achieve true life-long happiness and peace, even in the midst of the inevitable struggles of growing old.

ANNE LEEDOM IS THE FOUNDER OF WWW.PARENTINGBOOKMARK.COM.

ARE YOU A PERFECTIONIST?
By Madeline Ann Lewis

In today’s fast-pace lifestyle, many women are often caught up in what is appropriately called the “Superwoman Syndrome.” These women are constantly striving to accomplish everything possible in a perfect manner and have not learned how to put themselves as a top priority. Most often, they do not have the time or energy to devote to themselves. Even when having the time, they may consider themselves selfish to indulge in self-pampering or to simply provide themselves quiet time alone. Superwomen always set standards that are unnaturally high, are beyond reach or reason. They tend to strain compulsively toward impossible goals. They measure self-worth entirely in terms of productivity and tangible accomplishments. Unfortunately, by doing so, these Superwomen are making life much more stressful and losing out on its many joys.

No one wants to be mediocre or average. Nobody wants to be of average ability, average intelligence, average potential, or average looks. So, Superwomen push themselves to excel, and the cycle begins: Once they excel in one area, they are not satisfied until they excel in another area. When they cannot excel in every area, their self-worth diminishes and the Superwoman Syndrome presents itself in physical, psychological or interpersonal symptoms.

TRYING TO BECOME A PERFECTIONIST

In today’s society, women are often cautioned about cigarette smoking, alcohol consumption, and drug abuse. Yet for those women who are juggling conflicting roles as a worker, volunteer, wife/lover, mother, friend and homemaker, there is a force equally as dangerous as external substance abuse. That force is stress. Stress is caused when people strive to be perfect in certain situations. By definition, the Superwoman Syndrome is a range of physical, psychological, and interpersonal stress symptoms experienced by a woman who attempts to perform perfectly in multiple or conflicting roles or goes overboard in one role. The more she tries to perform her roles perfectly, the more stress she produces. Sometimes, she keeps adding roles as if “more” is somehow better. Other times, she is not performing multiple roles to experience the Superwoman Syndrome. Instead, she is stressed as a result of handling just one role and obsessing to do it too perfectly.

There is concern about these women who are trying to be perfect workers, perfect mothers and perfect housekeepers. They are setting impossible goals. The goals cause havoc to the women who attempt them and perhaps undermine their health. The Superwoman Syndrome affects women at different ages, at different career stages, at different economic levels and with different intensities. The Superwoman must often fight the unrelenting demands of insensitive employers, lack of inadequate childcare resources, deadlines, overload and non-supportive spouses.

The Superwoman is a good person, duty-oriented, very responsible and truly desires to do what is right. Often, she feels powerless to do anything about these demand “enemies.” She may feel guilty, overwhelmed and inadequate. She carries a giant load in life and frequently goes day-to-day in a semi-depressed state due to her burdens. She is also unhappy about her situation. She does not know how to lighten her load and may secretly resent others who have been able to escape their personal demands. WHY WOMEN BECOME SUPERWOMAN Women step into the role of Superwoman for many different reasons. Some of the reasons include the following: to be the good little girl; to please everyone; for attention; for a feeling of being able to do it all; the inability to say “no” to others or self; for a feeling of accomplishment; or low self-esteem.

GETTING OFF THE TREADMILL

Many talented, creative, and passionate women have stepped into the role of Superwoman. They have donned the cape and mask that have actually hindered their chances for a feeling of success and peace. Yet, because these women chose to put on the Superwoman costume, they can just as easily take it off. They have the potential and ability to become women with less stress and openness and simply do the best that they can do without the compulsive need to be perfect.

DO I IDENTIFY WITH THE SUPERWOMAN SYNDROME?

• Do I feel the need to do it all?
• Do I compete against myself?
• Do I rarely say “no” to others?
• Do I take on more and more responsibility?
• Do I rarely feel a strong sense of accomplishment?
• Do I constantly feel overwhelmed?
• Do I feel the need to be the perfect mother/wife/daughter?
• Do I want to be everything to everyone?

KEEP LIFE SIMPLE

Begin leading a simpler and less chaotic life by starting with a life mission statement. In this mission statement, make a list of survival roles, or actions and behavior to get through day by day. Next, write down everything that is vital to obtaining prescribed lifetime goals. Finally, list areas of life that do not need to be done or can be let go. Then when this is done, begin a new game plan. Write this plan as if for a best friend. Watch for time wasters. Learn to say “no” often and without guilt. Reward new behavior. Live with the “needs” and do not complicate life with the “wants.”

PAY ATTENTION TO EACH DAY

First, get up earlier to allow some quiet, private time before leaving for work. Spend some time looking or going outside. What kind of day is it? What types of clouds are in the sky? Are there special sounds? Learn to pay attention to the “now”…do not be a “clock watcher.” Regulate the number of items on the “to do” list. During lunch, avoid talking business, eat slowly and take a full hour.

Go to lunch with an enthusiastic staff member. Make a list of “hyper habits” that include too much rushing around. Share this list with a friend, and make a contract to alter some of these conflicting behaviors and to slow down. Find a specific area near work, such as a park, where it is possible to go alone for some quiet time. Post written reminders at home on the mirror that state, “Today, I am going to be in a good mood.” Be willing to say “no” when necessary. Ask for help when needed and delegate whenever it will be an advantage. Finally, before falling asleep, give thanks for one small or large success that occurred that day. Keep everything as simple as humanly possible.

There are so many benefits that will come from stepping off the treadmill and enjoying life without having to do it all. Women need to throw away their Superwoman costumes and keep life simple with a daily “no” and more concern for their own well-being.

DR. MADELINE ANN LEWIS IS THE PRESIDENT/CEO OF DELINE INSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT. SHE CAN BE REACHED AT WOMEN@DELINEINSTITUTE.NET.

Senior Vice-President
Regional Manager Palm Beach South BankAtlantic

 “I always say there are nine wonders of the world: the eighth wonder clearly is compounding interest; the ninth wonder is networking. I have always been a networker.”

When you were a child, did you have a hero or heroine? If so, who?
I can’t say that I had a specific person but my parents molded all of us to be the people we are. They always told us, “Do the right thing. Make sure you are good in your community.” My parents were always involved in the community.

When you have a difficult decision to make, do you discuss the issue with others?
In business, I enjoy getting ideas from the experienced people, but I also enjoy getting ideas from the people new to the organization. Typically I pick and choose a bit of everyone’s opinion. For personal decisions I turn to my family – particularly my older sister; we are very close.

Has networking with other women had a positive impact upon your professional and personal life?
We love our men but there is something wonderful about women helping women in business. I have made great friends from all the networking events throughout the community. It is not about what you get, but it is about what you can give. It might start off as a business opportunity but it ends up about being a friend.

Do you believe in the concept of giving back? If so, in what ways do you give back?
I have always been very active. Even in my children’s school. You volunteer and it sets a great example. In work, if I can’t personally help someone, I can introduce a person to another person they need to meet. And that is a wonderful feeling. Right now my focus is as President of the Palm Beach County Sports Commission. We bring sporting events to Palm Beach and we also have an education component to introduce children to every kind of sport.

How do you define success? And what qualities define you?
I have a very positive attitude that makes it a pleasure to work with people. No matter how hard your day may be, if you lay your head down at night and you are still happy with your day, it is a good feeling. The feeling that “I made a contribution,” is a satisfying feeling that you made a difference in the world. Our pastor says, “You are either adding or subtracting from something.” When you feel you are adding to whatever you are involved in, that to me is success.

What lessons from your own experience would you like to offer other women?
I always say this,” Never give up.” If you have a passion, something you really want to do, it might not happen today, but never give up. I have way too many things I want to do and I will never give up on accomplishing all of them. You must always continue going forward.

Palm Beach Affiliate Director, Work-Life
Balance Institute for Women;
Owner & Designer, Palm Beach
Purses & EcoChic Purses; CEO Lani Click Consulting

 “Passion and a wise heart result in a meaningful life. Remember to have reverence for the earth and its resources.”

When you were a child, did you have a hero or heroine? If so, who?
A lot of my heroes and heroines came from books. Books were my refuge. I read about Joan of Arc, Anne Boleyn, Winston Churchill. I was fascinated by Mahatma Gandhi. I thought he was very interesting. My grandfather is in the advertising hall of fame. He was an entrepreneur. He was very disciplined, a risk taker but consistent with his work ethic.

When you have a difficult decision to make, do you discuss the issue with others?
I discuss all my important decisions with my husband and my sons when it is relevant. I also meditate. I will seek out people with expertise in a specific area and get good solid advice. But life is difficult and it is often said that luck is when preparation meets opportunity. So I always have a plan when I am faced with a difficult decision. But, I am always prepared to change it should circumstances shift. You want to always figure out a solution to the issue.

Has networking with other women had a positive impact upon your professional and personal life?
Absolutely. It really has been an honor to work with Susie [Levan] with the Work Life Balance Institute. The variety of women I have met through the luncheons has refocused, reshaped and balanced my life /work philosophy. By talking to so many women, you get to understand what friends are. There are so many networking groups that one has to be selective and choose the one that will help you succeed and reach your goal.

Do you believe in the concept of giving back? If so, in what ways do you give back?
Going back to my years at Yale, I learned that mentoring and volunteering become a way of life. Giving back has been personal. We donated purses to over 100 charities and with EcoChic and we have been recognized for our green fashion. I grow herbs, orchids and tomatoes and I like to share those as well.

How do you define success and what qualities define you? I think success involves showing up for whatever you are meant to be. Have enthusiasm, and be an excellent communicator and leader. The elements that create success are clarity, honesty and a sense of humor. I am constantly reinventing myself to achieve more of my goals and I like to inspire others to use their individuality to define their voice and passion.

What lessons from your own experience would you like to offer other women?
Our choices define us. Being an entrepreneur is not simply selling purses. [We have to] inspire and mentor young people as they are the future. Share your ideas and enthusiasm with them. Be generous and explore the fun side of work.

President and CEO
Revenue Generator

Cate’s tenacious and positive outlook on work and life is uplifting and contagious.

If you have a difficult decision to make, how many people do you discuss it with?
The one constant in making decisions has always been tuning into my own instinct first, then I may seek advice and verification. There are a diverse group of people I rely on depending what genre the decision may fall into. Certainly, my husband is someone I discuss most things with – he is a brilliant financial and legal brain!

Has networking with other women had a positive impact on your personal and professional life?
My whole life has been about networking with other women – the flow, the exchange and the energy is wonderful for me, because helping people by connecting them to one another, finding resources for them and by sharing what I can with them, is what I do best. When I was new to the corporate [entertainment] world, there were women at ABC who took me under their wings as strong mentors. Now I’m able to do the same, specifically within the Work-Life Balance Institute for Women, which has been an incredible experience for me. I’ve met wonderfully talented, quality women whose lives, I believe, we have been able to mutually enrich.

When you were a child, did you have a hero (she-ro)?
Since I was very young, I’ve been deeply influenced by some fantastic matriarchal family members as well as several wonderful nuns who made a huge impact on me. Later, I was intrigued by women news anchors for their intelligence and different strengths they portrayed, such as Jane Paulie and Barbara Walters. And then again, I always go back to Sally Field, besides the fact that she has always been a person of principle…I mean, really, she was the Flying Nun!

What lesson would you like women to learn from your experiences?
The most important piece is to get to know who you are and don’t let anyone else define you. Do the things that will enrich your life and make being on this planet mean something. Know that life has its ups and downs, then find the positive in each of your own experiences. Lastly, be honest, because integrity will serve you best.

How do you define success and what qualities define YOU?
The idea of success has changed for me, as I’ve changed and grown. Today, I define success by my ability to make an impact on someone else every day. I’m a creative person, constantly searching for ways to evolve and curiosity is an important ingredient to who I am. I’m tenacious and I most obviously love people!

Do you believe in the concept of “giving back,” and if so, how do you give back?
I’ve been so fortunate to realize the majority of my goals and dreams, that now I give back by parlaying my corporate experiences and coaching experiences to help others launch, brand and market their business and by giving them the courage to realize their life’s desires and to manifest their own entrepreneurial spirit.

Tia Diaz-Balart

Tia is a woman whose belief in “striving for progress, not perfection” is indeed her winning formula catapulting her to perfection, indeed!

If you have a difficult decision to make, how many people do you discuss it with?
I always involve other people in my decision-making process. I subscribe to the idea of surrounding myself with people who are smarter than me, and I value their insight and input. I confer with my husband, co-workers, partners and my closest friends. I don’t always agree with everything, but others’ views help me come up with the best decision.

Has networking with other women had a positive impact on your personal and professional life?
Absolutely! Networking with other women is really multi-faceted. I gain so much inspiration from the wonderful strength and power of women. They’ve given me the courage to take on additional responsibilities and risks and to believe in myself.

When you were a child, did you have a hero (she-ro)?
Both my Mom and Dad are my heroes. They are strong, independent, brilliant and very compassionate. And not to sound cliché, but I’ve looked up to Mother Teresa my whole life. Living in the most poverty-stricken conditions, she had such strength of character and faith, by following her beliefs and passion no matter the challenges she was faced with, to help people.

What lesson would you like women to learn from your experiences?
First, don’t be afraid of failure. You have to see why you failed, then change and improve upon it. And that leads into the next important lesson, which is perseverance. Follow your passion and what you truly believe in; keep working at it and don’t take a failure or setback as anything but a means to be better, smarter and stronger. Also, women have a tendency to be sensitive to others’ beliefs to our detriment, and that is where we need to hold strong to our own convictions and keep moving forward.

How do you define success and what qualities define YOU?
To me success is measured in ‘baby steps’ because I set up these big, big goals and it is so easy to lose sight of the little successes without evaluation steps. The qualities that define me are that I am out-of-the-box and I’m a risk taker. I’m not afraid of change or something that is out of the ordinary for the greater good. That’s part of the excitement of life!

Do you believe in the concept of “giving back,” and if so, how do you give back?
Giving back is what life is all about. I don’t think I would be satisfied or content if I weren’t giving back. Even something as simple as smiling at a stranger can make a huge difference in the world. The concept of the EcoChamber is entirely about giving back, it’s about making sure we have clean water and food and are changing the world. And, really, isn’t that what life is all about?

I joined Facebook because everyone told me it was the in thing to do. “Step into the 21st Century, Mare, it’s a fabulous way to stay in touch and good for business.” I have to say, I liked it…for about a week.

Day one was great fun. I filled out the information, decorated my homepage, loaded some pictures and even invited a few friends. When the graph indicated I was 95% complete, I felt accomplished and took a break. Then, like a Peeping Tom, I peered into my “friends’” windows; checking out their “friends,” looking at their pictures, and reading their “walls.” I joined “I Judge You When You Use Poor Grammar” group and even took a quiz. If I were a cartoon figure, I’d be Betty Boop. On a roll, I sent Cosmopolitan cocktails and Haute Couture Dresses to a couple girl friends and finished off the day with a quick virtual poke to my husband. Phew, I was virtually exhausted!

DAY TWO

I logged in and had ten new friend requests; two people I barely remember from high school and eight people I didn’t know at all. What the heck. Feeling the love, I confirmed them all.

DAY THREE

I was up to thirty friends, and had a brief worry pang, “Was I keeping up with the normal Facebook growth rate?” Two new unknown “friends” reached out; Mark invited me to be part of his business group and Susan suggested I follow her on Twitter, making me feel popular once again. Every day, I checked in on my “friends.”

DAY FOUR

• Sally’s inner thighs are hurting from Pilates class.
• Jon wonders if anyone knows a group who needs motivation. He is grateful, as a professional speaker, he gets paid for touching peoples’ lives.
• Wanda is having sushi for lunch. Yummy!

DAY FIVE

• Mark is looking for customer service stories for his new book.
• Richard is up to his eyeballs in work.
• Dee-Dee is taking the kids to the park.

DAY SIX

• Larry took the “Which Heavy Metal Rock Star” quiz and he is Jon Bon Jovi.
• Gina just wrote a book…check it out.
• Susan is feeling energetic because of her new vitamins, check it out.

You know how you can eat a big bag of Cheetos and still feel hungry? Facebook felt like a computer screen of empty calories, when I was craving nourishment or at the minimum a virtual hug. I felt bloated and unsatisfied—and I didn’t like what I saw in the mirror. My new friends’ musings made me judgmental, uncompassionate and cynical. I didn’t care about their news and resented being marketed to. In a nutshell, fast-food friendships (complete with commercial breaks) did nothing to quell my hunger pangs. Not one to stay stuck in negativity, I quickly examined my “return on investment,” discovering the ROI was not worth the time spent. I thanked my “new” friends for reminding me: I don’t do fast food friends.

DAY SEVEN

Inspired by my newfound awareness, I decided to spend valuable minutes connecting with my best friend, using old-fashioned long distance. I helped her brainstorm business ideas. She let me vent about “finals.” We shared weekend plans and solved the problems of our world. After forty-five minutes, I felt fat and happy from friendship— and had spent fifteen minutes less than my previous day’s Facebook time.

It’s easy to get lured into Facebook. In some ways it is like a huge world-wide interactive Reality Show where you can be a star or a lurker. It’s nice to be heard and validated by a simple thumbs-up icon. I have read about people who admit they are addicted to Facebook, spending hours (work and home) online, even forgoing playing with their kids to “unwind.” It’s easy to get caught up in the easy. But what is more meaningful, taking a quiz to discover what 80’s song best reflects your personality or turning on the stereo and dancing to the music (even if you are alone)? I choose door number two.

On the surface, Facebook’s fast-fix networking makes you feel full in the moment—and seems the perfect socialization solution for a quick-fix society. But I wonder, do Facebook and Twitter provide a good nutritional substitute or empty calories on an already overflowing plate?

Beyond a quick hello or birthday wish, Facebook doesn’t stick to my ribs. I’d much prefer an email or phone chat. But that’s just me. I’d also rather spend my extra fifteen minutes away from the computer, on a date with Mr. Bubble—or poking my husband, in person.

MARE PETRAS, A VETERAN OF THE FITNESS INDUSTRY FOR 3 DECADES, IS A MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER, WELLNESS WRITER AND FULL-TIME JOURNALISM STUDENT. SHE IS THE AUTHOR OF 3 FITNESS SIMPLY. THE NEW YORK TIMES HAS CALLED MARE THE ANYTIME ANYWHERE FITNESS EXPERT. SHE LIVES AND PLAYS IN SARASOTA, FL AND – WHILE SHE IS ON FACEBOOK AND TWITTER – SHE CAN BE BEST REACHED ONLINE AT WWW.FITNESSSIMPLY.COM.

LOVE THE LIFE YOU LIVE AND
LIVE THE LIFE YOU LOVE
By S J Strock

A few short weeks ago, Liz Sterling, the Southeast Feature Editor for Balance Magazine and co-host of Be(e) You Radio on South Florida’s #1 Radio Station, 101.5 LiteFM, had the good fortune to interview Dr. Bernie Siegel for the radio show. In her infinite kindness, Liz facilitated a follow up interview for me. Dr. Siegel, better known simply as “Bernie” to most, was more than thrilled to chat further about his innovative philosophy and advice, which have led many physicians and other healthcare professionals to help patients participate in and influence their own recovery. Trained as a pediatric surgeon, Dr. Siegel founded the Exceptional Cancer Patients Program, a form of individual and group therapy utilizing patients’ drawings, dreams and images. His first book, Love, Medicine and Miracles redirected his life and those of millions of readers. His other books, Peace, Love and Healing as well as How to Live Between Office Visits were met with huge accolades.

Once again, Bernie is inspiring through the written word, with the release of Faith, Hope and Healing: Inspiring Lessons Learned from People Living with Cancer. Many have wondered, what happened to the patients who followed his advice over the last three decades? Now the wondering is over as Bernie shares the inspiring and real-life stories of people who have experienced cancer and found deeper faith, hope, joy and healing through the process. Along with these stories are Bernie’s insightful commentaries, which are meant to encourage and help readers to develop an attitude and personality that survivors share, while also offering myriad way to cope with and conquer difficult times and discovering gifts illness can bring into a person’s life…yes, “gifts!” Riddled throughout the book, and most certainly during our conversation, Bernie reveals what these individuals’ experiences tell us all about our common strengths and humanity and most importantly, how to live an authentic, fulfilling life.

For many, Bernie needs no introduction. He has  touched innumerable lives all over the world and continues to break new ground in the field of healing. In 1978 he began talking about patient empowerment and the choice to live fully and die in peace. As a physician, he had cared for and counseled those whose mortality had been threatened by an illness. Dr. Siegel embraces a core philosophy of living and dying that more than thirty years later still stands at the forefront of the medical ethics and spiritual issues our society struggles with today.

I chatted with Bernie from his home in Connecticut and couldn’t help but revel in those lush tree-lined streets and how the canopy of leaves shading the avenue was a far cry from Brooklyn, New York, where Bernie comes from. So, too, is his methodology for treating his patients, a far stretch from his background, education and training in the sciences of medicine. And so, I had to ask about his outspoken message exemplifying the connection of spirituality and self-love to the healing process.

SPIRITUAL MEDICINE

“The word healing is very different than the word cure,” Bernie begins. “It’s about a wholeness, not identifying with their body parts but instead with their innate capacity to live fully. And also to die fully too.” He further explains that looking at the full spectrum of life, he’s witnessed many people who start actually living after they receive a diagnosis of their impending mortality. “If hunger leads me to find food, then mortality will lead me to find life,” Bernie quotes and then pauses for affect. I am enthralled by his message and agree with so much of its simplicity. We become what society may have imposed on us. Then, a life-threatening illness, like cancer, empowers us to take control and live the life we want. It’s not often complicated, it can be the simple freedom of taking off the suit and tie. This seems to be a recurring theme, so much so that Bernie jokes, tongue in cheek, of a letter received from one patient who writes, “I didn’t die, and now I’m so busy living, I’m killing myself!” This woman is doing everything she ever wanted to do – in essence she is finally living.

SELF-LOVE

As a medical doctor trained in the sciences, I knew Dr.Siegel’s philosophies were a stretch from the treatments his associates were offering and indeed they are. His “ah-ha moment” was when one of his cancer patients came for an office visit and she candidly shared that she felt loved and hopeful when she was being seen and cared for by him, but she needed to know how to carry that message with her between office visits. Bernie realized that the proper visualizations needed to be a part of her healing and treatment process. If the idea of chemotherapy “killing” the cancer cells is offensive to the patient, then a more loving approach to ridding oneself of cancer needed to be used. For instance, one patient, chooses to see her tumor as a block of ice that is melted away by the loving light of God. And another, who wouldn’t wage war on any living thing, including cancer, envisioned his cancer cells being carried out of his body. “These are some of the wonderful tools selflove can promote in the healing process.” He continues, “Encouraging each patient to embrace the perfection of who they are and to give love to themselves, so that their bodies will feel loved and will want to repair and heal themselves is a hugely important part of the whole process.” Dr. Siegel further advises against the mindset of “fighting the disease.” Bernie recounts a story about Mother Teresa refusing to come to an “anti-war rally.” She responded by saying, “If you ever have a peace rally, please invite me.” I nodded my head in full understanding as he went on, “If you empower a fight, a war, a battle with cancer, you are giving energy to what is negative.”

POTENTIAL FOR HEALING

Dr. Bernie Siegel implores not only his patients but each and every one of us, “Be a responsible participant in your own life. There is no shame, no blame – simply live your best life.” When asked, “How do I heal my life?” he answers, “Take an opportunity to liberate yourself.” In his newest book, Faith, Hope, And Healing: Inspiring Lessons Learned from People Living with Cancer, after each person’s story, Bernie reflects on the lessons in his own commentary. When I prodded further about the potential for healing, he encourages us to seek from within, he tells me the age-old stories of The Ugly Duckling and The Tiger [who didn’t know he was a tiger because he was brought up by goats eating grass]. “Like both the duckling and the tiger who found their true selves in the reflection of a still pond – still your mind, look into the quietness, get to know yourself and then live in that vain. Love yourself and learn who you are, you will see that you are 39 a swan, that you are a tiger. You can recondition yourself to who you were meant to be, not who society, parents, religious teachings, and so on may have pushed you to be.” What I heard in his message was “Recognize the fact that you are indeed living, and live your life fully.”

POWER OF INTENTION

When living fully, and living the life you love, Bernie explains some harsh statistics. “More illness like colds and flu as well as heart attacks and strokes occur on Monday morning. It’s your body shutting down in the most finite of ways to protect you from what you despise.” He cautions, “So instead of allowing for the breakdown, be intent to seek the life you will look forward to waking up to each and every day, then love your life.” Not only will being true to yourself and living a life of satisfaction help to keep you in a state of good health, Bernie also encourages the use of your mind, and intention, one to adhere to self-induced healing. Not a miracle, not a spontaneous remission, but as a healing image described in the book Cancer Ward, “a rainbow colored butterfly.” Bernie’s excitement resonates, “This vision surely speaks volumes; the rainbow being color of order and the butterfly representing a metamorphosis of change.” So the formula he encourages is to get your life in order – the colors of the rainbow, then transform – the butterfly, based on the changes that occur in your body when you are mindful to do so. We are all mortal, we are all going to die, but how about living now? In the 1930’s, Elida Evans, a Jungian therapist described cancer as a “growth gone wrong.” Often times, cancer and other harsh disease may be a product of happenstance of a life not well lived. Loss of a loved one; moving to a different state; drastic life changes; a vulnerability at a time in your life – all of these may leave one open to disease. Although Dr. Siegel’s message seems to primarily speak to patients with terminal diagnosis, he believes the power of healing may well relate to everyone. He chides, “Hemingway says, ‘The world breaks everyone.’ So why wait for the curse, learn how to live now!”

SARAH “SJ” STROCK IS THE ASSOCIATE PUBLISHER AND PMS EDITOR FOR BALANCE MAGAZINE AND GRANTS MANAGER FOR THE WORK-LIFE BALANCE INSTITUTE FOR WOMEN. SHE WRITES WEB COPY, NEWSLETTERS AND MARKETING MATERIALS FOR HER CORPORATE CLIENTELE AND IS A REGULAR CONTRIBUTOR TO LIFESTYLE PUBLICATIONS. SHE CAN BE REACHED AT SARAH@BALANCEMAGAZINE.COM.